I never thought that I'd be starting all over in my thirties. Dont' think that it's all about the griping though. The bad stuff is behind me. Things are pretty sweet right now because there are three things I'm sort of dealing with all at once.
The first is a lifelong struggle- the pounds. That's so big, I'm going to put it in capital letters: THE POUNDS. Right now, my weight is way too close to 300. For my health, for my appearance, for my life, they've got to go. Last year, I went all through the work up for gastric band surgery. I received my approval two days before my insurance policy changed from allowing such surgery and paying for it, to specifically excluding it. It SUCKED and I was really upset, especially after having gone through all the horrendously embarrassing parts of the work up. Like having to poop in a Tupperware container and bring it to the hospital. Yeah. It was bad. Thinking about it now, the gastric band is very limiting. It would allow for a rapid weight loss quickly but really changes everything about a person's relationship with food, especially in ways that I don't want to deal with. So I'm going it on my own. My goal is to lose at least 6 pounds a month. I think it's doable.
The second issue is wedding planning. A re-marriage. I've been down the aisle before. Wedding planning at 23 was stressful and insane and every detail had so much gravity and importance. This time around there are children involved - two that I birthed and two that belong to my fiance. That changes things. Also, this time around, my focus is way more on the marriage part of the wedding than the party and while I'm hoping the party will be epic, I have faith that the marriage will last. I'm not so naive as to think that everything is perfect through my rose-colored glasses, but I think maturity and those lessons I learned will serve me well going into this. The fiance and I have been living together for several years now so we feel a smug sense of "we rock at this relationship thing." So all we have to do is get around to getting married.
The third thing, and first on the list is The Mouse. Come on, you have to know what mouse I'm talking about. Mickey. Em- eye-see...kay- eee- why... Em-oh-you-es-eeeeeee! We are Disney nuts. Disney dorks. Disneyphiles. Whatever word you use to describe the obsession, that's us. As soon as the idea of getting married came up, we knew it would be a Disney wedding. And my fiance, Prince Charming that he is, somehow managed to surprise me with a one-day trip to Orlando so he could propose in front of the castle. A Disney wedding with a Minnie and Mickey cake topper at our local hotel ballroom was never going to be the plan for us. No! Not Disney enough! We are planning our nuptials in Florida at the house of mouse and we want it with all the Disney-ness our money can buy.
So that's what I'm here to type about, planning my Disney wedding and losing the pounds at the same time. The wedding's the deadline.